I took this picture with my phone, so it doesn’t quite do justice to what I was seeing. The day was mostly overcast and while we were driving home the sun poked through this little hole in the clouds and the rays shining down were like stairs up to Heaven. Whenever I see that I feel like it’s an open portal between Heaven and Earth and that God and the angels are all around.
When I think of my friend and what she has gone through this past year and in particular these past couple of months and weeks, I feel her. I feel connected to her through this. When I heard her mom was sick I knew I would support her in any way I could. We were friends when he father passed away as well and he passed exactly 19 years before her mom, on the same day. I’m sure that part of the reason for the strength of the connection I feel to her lies with our history. Quite literally, it was almost history repeating itself. We haven’t seen each other before now in about 20 years.
My friend is an inspiration. The dedication she showed to her mother while she was ill is unbelievable. I don’t know anyone else who would have done as much or been as brave, gracious and selfless as she was with her mother in these last few weeks. She stayed by her side endlessly, praising her, telling her all that she had learned from her, how much she loved her, playing songs and prayers that would both stimulate and soothe her. I admire her strength so much. I don’t know if she knows how brave and wonderful she is.
She gave a beautiful eulogy for her mother and two things stand out to me. I was able to see the end result of being a mother. She made her family. She raised them and instilled the values they share in them. They demonstrated that whether it’s known or not, children love their parents as much as their parents love them. The love my friend has for her mother became a living thing in the church. It was like it’s own entity. I felt like that was what it was all for. To know that you have raised an incredible woman who is a walking, talking monument to you and what you stand for. Not a cookie cutter double. Not by any means. I know the two women are very different. But there are similarities in the way my friend cares for, nurtures and tends to her home and family. She learned those skills from her mom. She spoke of hers and her siblings creativity being a gift from their mother. Beautiful! She stood there, the youngest and she held them all. She cared for them all. Afterwards, we spoke and she said she was somewhat lucky that she didn’t have a husband or kids who would be looking to her to carry their emotional wellbeing. There may be some truth to that. However, I believe that she led her entire family through this ordeal and it was her example that they followed and her strength that they looked for. She gave all of her energy to her family throughout this illness. Now I hope she can show the same love and support to herself. She is free now to take her shot. To find her happiness and joy. I believe that she is her mother’s greatest gift to the world.
The other thing that is burned into my mind from the eulogy was that her mom would always tell everyone to smile. Just smile she would say. It doesn’t cost you anything and it could change someone’s day. Well, I was at a training session yesterday and there was a young girl there who made me smile. Not only did she make me smile, she made me laugh my head off. She was so grumpy (see bitchy) looking. She was having computer trouble (lol sound familiar) and finally ended up having to switch stations. Lucky me, she ended up being my neighbour. This girl literally looked like she was about a day out of high school and all I could think was “Oh my god. No wonder people always said I was a bitch.” She had all the markings of my 13-20something year old self. It left a mark let me I tell you. I may never stop smiling again because of her.