I saw the video of Jim Carrey’s speech posted by different people on Facebook.  I listened to it and watched it yesterday, quickly, and it brought tears to my eyes.  I listened to it again just now and it sent chills right through me.  I loved it (as did many others, obviously).  So much of it sounds so familiar.   Words I’ve heard before and read before many times, in many different places.  It seems like the best and truest words are repeated and shared again and again until they are understood.  A lot of what I read these days sounds familiar.  I’ve heard the message before.  I’m not complaining!  Just the opposite.  It’s  seems to be that what needs to be heard, learned and understood is being shared by more and more people so that the message is being repeated everywhere.  It’s almost like God’s voice is getting louder and his messengers are showing up in forms that more of us can relate to.

I believe in God.  Unfailingly, unwaveringly.  I don’t know why.  I can’t and won’t try to explain myself.  I wasn’t raised in religion, I don’t particularly care for the itty bitty, teensy, tiny bit of religion I have been exposed to.  It’s minute and I readily admit I am completely ignorant of all religions.  I’m sorry if that is offensive to anyone.  It’s not because I want to be, but just simply that I don’t know about it.  Having said that, I absolutely believe in God.  Two totally different things if you ask me.  I’ve always believed.  I remember being very young and talking to God endlessly.  He was my best imaginary friend.  Always there.  Always cool.  The very best conversations.  I remember wanting more than anything to just be able to sit down with God and talk.  About anything and everything.  I always had a ton of questions and really who better to give the answers than the Creator himself.  The older I got, the further from memory that desire got.  Now that I have all these kids I am desperately attached to life on Earth and am prepared to wait patiently at least another 80 years for those one on ones.

My God is perfect.  My God doesn’t judge me.  Doesn’t get pissed at me when I’m not doing what I’m supposed to.  Really doesn’t give a shit if I have a potty mouth or always put my best foot forward, if I get stupid drunk and fall down (back in the day, not now), put my foot it, say something nasty, act like a bitch or if I’m perfect in any way, shape or form.  I am perfect, just as I am, at any given moment.  Just like my kids are.  Just like my husband…he doesn’t have to be perfect, just perfect for me.  Just like you, just like the next guy, just like every single person on Earth.  If God did judge me, he wouldn’t be God, he’d just be any other person I’ve ever met.  God is not a dick.  He doesn’t want war and famine and disasters.  These are just the things we are doing to ourselves.  And when I say “My God”, I mean that.  That is the God I believe in.  In no way am I saying anything about anyone else’s version or idea of God.  I think more and more we need to be accepting of everyone we meet just as they are.  Not as we want them to be, but just as they are – perfect.

I read a lot of different stuff about people who are supposedly very spiritual.  They claim to be so in touch and spiritually advanced, yet they are so judgemental and exclusionary.  They can only accept a situation/person if it follows “the rules” of what they think something should look like.  That’s not very spiritual to me.  I can believe in God and angels and forgiveness and love and also tell you where to go – in two seconds flat.  One thing has nothing to do with the other.  I can do yoga (one day) and eat a massive double cheeseburger and suck back a nice cold pint of Keith’s and it doesn’t make my beliefs any less authentic.  We can all do our best to live up to others’ expectations of what is “right”, but we’re not going to hit the mark every time.  It’s not possible.  And if we did get to that point, we’d be done.  We could all move along to those awesome sit downs with the big guy and chill.

It’s too much work trying to live up to someone else’s idea of how I should live my life.  The best I can do is live it the way I do.  I speak quickly, I act quickly.  There is not much about me that is delivered softly or gently.  I’m straightforward and maybe sometimes too much.  I’ve seen that energy in other people and because of that have tried to temper it in myself.  I’m excited and excitable.  I used to have a lightning quick temper, thankfully, that’s mellowed a bit with age.  I’m doing my best.  I’m striving to be the best mother I can be.  I’m always trying to be the best person I know how to be (I admit to moments when I am not) and if I see a better way of doing something I’m willing to give it a try.  I love hearing other people’s stories and viewpoints.  It gives me endless opportunity to see other perspectives that maybe I’ve never considered.  I want my mind to be open and to see things through others’ eyes.  People are beautiful, they’re stories are incredible and heroic.  Just the day to day stuff takes my breath away.

Love and fear.  I promise to love you because of our differences, rather than fear what I don’t understand.