WTF????!!!!!

I would seriously and severely like to kick my own ass right now.  Honestly, I’m actually a pretty positive, upbeat person (for the most part).  I’ve had some stresses on my mind and I’ve put it out to the universe that I would like resolution to these stresses and low and behold, the solutions are appearing – yet I’m freakin’ miserable (today).  What the F@ck!!!!  I don’t get it.  When my world looks like it’s gone to hell in a hand basket, I’m cool.  I can see that it’s only a phase and not get too down on myself and remain fairly optimistic about the future.  However, let things start to work out and I want to cry.  Drama queen?!  Don’t know.  Timing is everything right?!

I’ve been given resolution to the debt issue.  A way to work it out and maintain things.  Yay!

I’ve been invited to test for a job that is fairly suitable to being a mom.  Yay!

Why am I miserable?  If I get this job, it means returning to work before my littlest ones start school.  Shouldn’t be a big deal.  I know.  They have stayed home a year longer that the older ones due to not starting daycare at the age of 2.  That said, I have one more year (14 months) until they start JK Full Time!  That is a big difference.  Even though my two big girls went to daycare from the age of two, they only went two days a week and their first two full years of school were also only part time.  So I had them home with me longer.  Heaven! 🙂  Now it looks like I may have to give up time with my babies and then release them to the school system with no gradual transition.  Misery!  🙁

Other than that, things are on a pretty even keel.  Have my hubby home for the summer so the whole family will have the entire summer together!  Amazing!!!!  My mom’s health has stabilized and she has settled in nicely to her new home.  Amazing!!!!  Everyone is healthy and happy and we (I) have everything in the world to be grateful, thankful and ecstatic about.

I will just have to pull my head out of my ass and appreciate everything that I have.  I couldn’t ask for a better life than the one I’ve got.